Believe it or not, there are some men and women who have not ventured into internet dating yet. By not exploring this avenue, these people are missing an important avenue for meeting wonderful men and women like themselves that are having a hard time meeting someone decent to date through more traditional means and their normal daily activities.
A coaching client, Sally* is a 40 year old woman who has never married and was having no luck meeting appropriate men. She is a shy woman who dreaded s.ingles events and “putting herself out there”. So I encouraged her to explore her perspectives on dating on the internet.
“It’s scary out there” came up first. She was afraid of the unknown and the “crazies” that she would encounter during her search. Also, she was afraid of any undesirable types who contacted her. I told her that it was a possibility that some unstable people where on the net, however, the process of weeding out by scrutinizing emails and talking to them on the ph.one would screen out most men she would felt uncomfortable with.
“What other perspective on internet dating comes up for you?”, I asked her. She hesitated. Then I continued with, “What would your mother think of you trying internet dating?” She laughed and said her mother would say, “What do you have to l.ose by trying?” “What would that look like?” I encouraged her further. “It’s kind of like the nothing ventured, nothing gained perspective”.
Then, I went one step further, “What would your best friend say about you trying internet dating?” “Oh that is easy, she would tell me to go for it!” Sally went on, “Also, there’s a whole world out there for me to explore.” She continued to tell me that “Go for it” perspective felt as though it was possible to meet someone this way and that it was hopeful.
“What could be fun about dating on the internet?” I asked. “Well, I could meet interesting people, do interesting things and go interesting places.” “So would you say that this would be the It’s fun out there perspective for internet dating?” “Yes, I could see that”, she confirmed.
Then, a negative thought (a gremlin) came to Sally immediately. “Aren’t only desperate men dating via the internet?” she expressed as a concern. We then went on to explore why someone would be dating using the internet. We came up with the following positive reasons:
1. These men may be time constrained due to demanding jobs and family obligations and don’t have much time for traditional ways of meeting women such as singles events and activities.
2. Men like convenience. This is an easy way to meet appropriate women to date.
3. Men like to be efficient. The internet provides an efficient use of their time and m.oney. You can go to a s.ingles event and not meet anyone. You have just spent your time and your m.oney without any results! Your chances seem better of actually going on dates.
4. The internet provides a lot of information that you don’t get when meeting someone at a bar or a s.ingles event. It weeds through the chit chat.
5. You get to engage with someone and get to know them through emails and ph.one calls before you meet them. Therefore, physical chemistry does not become the only factor for wanting to meet someone.
6. Internet dating is a one on one vehicle. It is not like some of these meat market s.ingles events where you are standing around with dozens of other women around.
7. The internet is great for shy people who don’t have an easy time at parties and group events.
8. The internet is actively being used by all ages n.ow, especially those 55 years and under.
After we brainstormed and uncovered these reasons for trying internet dating, Sally seemed ready to give the internet a try. Then, one last gremlin came up for her!
“It all sounds good, but this may take too much time for me” Sally said. “How much time could you give to this activity during the week?” I countered. “A couple of hours a week” she offered. “How many hours are you willing to commit to spending on internet dating a week?” I asked firmly as her coach. She was willing to commit to 3 hours a week.
“And what perspective do you want to take on as you go forward with this venture?” I encouraged further. “I want to take on the go for it perspective”, she answered. “I know you will go for it and you will be courageous about it!” was my acknowledgement for my client that ended our session.
Article by… http://www.heartmindconnection.com
Technorati Tags: adultmatchmaker, matchmaker, adult friendfinder, adultfriendfinder, adult friend finder, friendfinder, redhotpie, dating, internet dating, date, chat, love, sex, personals, personal, meeting women, RedHotPie
More related articles from this website...
What does Internet dating provide for adults?Saw this very very informative article by Tracy at... http://www.datingtips.net.au/ When you hear about adult dating services online you think people of a younger age use them, Such as teens or any person under the age of 35. Times are changing and the internet is starting to develop around all ages of people in the world. Now a 56 year....
Pros And Cons Of Having Online Dating RelationshipsModern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating and preserving a good relationship. Computers and the internet have merely added a new wrinkle in old pattern of love and loss. With websites that specialize in matching people up according to whatever criteria they choose, there are more and more people finding each other but,....
Chat RoomsChat rooms have gained a bad reputation over the past few years so to-day I want to cover a few misconceptions.. A lot of people believe that chat rooms are for computer type geeks, criminals, perverts and mindless twits with nothing better to do. This connotation can be no further from the truth. In fact, the percentage of cases of....
Testing if Auto Blog Publisher is working.This is a quick test to see if Blog Auto Publisher is working again. When you are posting to over 20 different websites a week it helps if you can speed up the process a bit... thats why Blog Auto Publisher has been so helpfull. About 3 months ago the software stopped working and its taken untill now to have it....
All posts to My Aussie BlogEvery post to My Aussie Blog is listed here. You will notice that from time to time the content of my posts will vary... thats because I get bored writing about the one topic all the time. I do however love to write about the exiting Internet dating scene in Australia... I never get bored writing about that. Please enjoy.......
Improved AppearanceMade a few more changes to My Aussie Blog to-day. Mainly to do with the left and right side-bars and the way the links appear. Centered the link images in side-bars. Added a list of my favourite free porn sites.....
Finding Women Online » Adult MatchmakerIt’s no secret that we now face longer working days and more stressful lives than we ever have. In fact, it has become increasingly difficult to lead normal lives and many people find it impossible to socialize. This lack of socialization cannot only lead to a very lonely life but it will make meeting women very....
Using An Online Dating Service In Australia » Adult MatchmakerWith research showing that around 30% of us are looking online for friendship and/or romance, then using an online dating Service In Australia no longer has the stigma attached to it that it used to have say six or seven years ago. Using online dating sites are now an accepted way of meeting people, whether you....
Cyber Sex In Chat RoomsMost Internet users have visited chat rooms. Probably all have received unwanted messages from other chat room users asking if they want ‘cyber’. For the innocent, cyber is code for virtual internet sex. Below is part of a conversation between two chat room users I came across recently… NaughtyNurse : Hi, are you a real Fireman? FiremanSam : I’m as real as Pamela....
Dating Your Coworker Or Boss, Is This A Good Idea?That’s a million dollar question! dating your coworker or boss, someone you see at least five days a week, eight hours or more a day, why not? Well, that depends if dating your coworker will create problems in the workplace for you. Probably not a good idea to date your boss, this could cause problems for you....
Dating Advice: The 5 Biggest Internet Dating Mistakes You Can makedating after a divorce is tough. You don’t quite know where to start so here are a few internet dating mistakes and their solutions. 1. Too much too soon So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on your internet dating site and have come up with someone who interests you. There has been....
Finding The Girl Or Guy Of Your Dreams Using The Internet » Adult MatchmakerIf you’re the typical “wallflower” who is to shy to approach other people directly or is a “late bloomer”, chances are your social skills haven’t yet fully developed. You may either try your hand at meeting new people by going to bars and parties but if you’re not ready for such a bold move or is still....
Finding Blog TopicsWhere do I go from here… A bloggers nightmare :There comes a day when every webmaster who has a blog wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves... what am I going to blog about to-day. Thats when you need to decide on the direction you want your blog to follow. But it aint easy I tell you. Especially when you....
Adult MatchmakerJoin Adult MatchMaker For Free Instantly : Sex Personals websites in Australia have become the single most sort after way of people meeting each other for casual or permanent relationships. The largest Adult Sex Personals online dating website in Australia to-day is Adult MatchMaker. Membership is free and allows you to access there huge database of over 700,000 members profiles.......
Making The First Move When Using An Online dating Service » Adult Matchmakeronline dating is often cited as a great way for shy people to extend their social circle and find love, but lack of confidence can be just as bad on the Internet as it is offline. For many people, making contact online can be quite a daunting task and the fear of rejection can be just as....
10 WAYS TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FIRST DATE IS SAFE.1. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SPOKEN ON THE TELEPHONE FIRST.When you use internet sites to date, make sure that you talk on the telephone before meeting the date. If you feel uncomfortable, be sure to get their number and call using your cell phone or use your local telephone blocking code to hide your identity. 2.GO....
Bloody hell! UK censors risque Aussie adsThe country that gave the world such risque comic acts as Benny Hill, the Two Ronnies and Little Britain has banned Australia's new "bloody hell" tourism ads from television because they are too rude. Australian Tourism Minister Fran Bailey said Britain had banned the television ads, which end with a bikini-clad woman on a beach asking "so....
Adult Matchmaker » Blogging To Meet New FriendsBlogging is a great venue for dating online. Blogs are personal web logs that function as a kind of online diary or journal. People create....
The Biggest Advantage of Online Dating » Adult MatchmakerSince we are all social beings, relationships have become the food for soul. All of us are looking to find someone to share the good and bed moments in our lives. But what we have to keep in mind is that our good or bed moments depends on our partners and how much we match with that person. It....
What to do when you are looking for love » Adult MatchmakerIt seems like everyone is looking for love and while we are trying to find our soul mate, we have tv, books and movies showing some happy couple meeting by happenstance and, of course, falling in love. How convenient for them but in most cases this is not how it happens. In real life you don't have....
Trackback URL for this post:
http://www.myaussieblog.com.au/matchmaker-dating-websites-and-the-internet/71/trackback/
Posted by Monica in My Aussie Blog